Lost and Found

Last night I had an epiphany...I realized that I have been trapped in the vacuum of stress. That toxic cycle that affects every area of my life. I have the image of seeing myself trying to escape the trap but I couldn't. And because life goes on, I had a paper due. I sat in front of the computer for hours trying to produce a paper. I stared at the blank screen for exactly three hours, and I produced one sentence. My brain was exhausted, but not as much as I was. Exhausted of being in survivor mode. The process was painful but by the end of the night the paper was completed.

I am exhausted, but why did I stop showing myself some love? My life has become a balancing act between work and school work. The little free I have I dedicate to others in order to maintain healthy relationships with family and friends, and in that process I forgot myself....I fell off my own list. I stopped doing the things that I enjoy...no scrap-booking, or jewelry making, or exercise, or healthy eating. It sounds like I am depressed but I am not. I am loaded with stress and forgot to take care of myself. My Yin and Yang are unbalanced and if I don't do something my health will suffer.

Its so easy to get lost and so hard to be found. I have to take action, and fall in love with me again. That's sounds weird, but when we love something, we cherish, we look after, we protect, we take care...
I started this morning, when on my way to work instead of making phone calls, I decided to listen to relaxing music in preparation for a busy day. On my way back I did the same thing as a way to decompress after a hard day before I went back to my kids and log in to class. It felt great to show myself some TLC.  Now I am looking forward to hit that treadmill to the music of Pitbull...yes...school work will have to wait until I am done. I am back on my list!

"If you produce positive energy in the air,

this attracts more positive energy,

besides cheer to those 

who really love you well."

Author unknown