My Quest for the Perfect Church

   For some time now (several years), I have been looking for a church to attend regularly but without being pressured ro become a member. For some reason I feel like I have to go to church to be able to complete the spiritual experience. Who knows if in my quest I will find out that I don't.

   I grew up in a Pentecostal church but I do not feel comfortable attending one as an adult, because of their rigid rules. I started questioning my childhood teachings when I went out to college. I attended a Catholic private university. The community was diverse in terms of religious beliefs and that opened up my eyes. Some of the beliefs I was raised under I don't agree with, well maybe most of what I was told I don't believe in. I grew up in fear, because God was to be fear. As a kid that worked but as a grown up I don't want to follow God because I am scared of the punishment. I want something deeper.

   I do believe in God. I have a personal relationship with the Superior Being. I have experienced first hand the power of that connection. I have to say that I disagree with the way most Christian churches practice, since there is more weigh put into praying than action; love is shown to their fellow members but it doesn't seem to spread outside of the church walls. Each church feel they have the absolute truth, and feel they have the right to judge others and even determine who will be saved and who will not.  They preach love but that love is conditional. Conditional to what? ....to their rules, and dogmas.


  During my quest, I have visited most of the Christian churches in my city, since that is familiar territory.  I went to a church in which they so many cliques that I wanted to run out within the first 10 minutes. They were a great example of not living what they preach. Other ones were so boring that I had a hard time staying awake. But most importantly I went out feeling the same way as I went in. So I kept looking. I want to be in a place in which people preach with their actions. What's the point of having an experience that will not have an effect in my life?


  This morning I went out to visit a new church. This is a Universalist Church. Way out of my comfort zone. Quite a different experience. Got there early and was welcome by a loving woman, that was full of energy and she was about 20 years older than me. She told me that during the summer the services are more informal. This format made it obvious for everyone that I was there as the only new person. Everyone was dressed like they were going to the park, so I was overdressed. Despite that I didn't feel uncomfortable. I couldn't ignore the fact that God was never mention during the service. Maybe they knew He was there, just like when you omit the subject while writing a sentence. There was no prayer or singing, but there was a sense of community, peace, and love in the air. I felt so welcome. They had a speaker, not a preacher that spoke about the Gross National Happiness in Bhutan and how it has impacted us in USA. Quite interesting. I learned a lot, since I have never heard of the country of Bhutan to begin with.

   Have I found "The Church"?  I don't know yet. I will go again next Sunday. I like the principles in which they practice which are "democracy, integrity, continuing education, and individual responsibility..." Also the fact that they promote individual  thinking. I don't want to feel like I am in cult and that I am suppose to follow without questioning or challenging.

  I am aware of how sensitive the topic of religion is, and I hope I haven't offend anyone by expressing my opinion, since its based on my personal experience which may differ from everyone else. It will be interesting to hear the experience of others.