The Face of Pain

   On October 7  was the wake for my friend's son. Writing this sounds weird, unnatural, not right. It is a disruption of the chain of life when parents have to bury their children. Why did he had to go?  Is the question that many of us had. I don't know the answer, but I am aware that as scary as it sounds we are not exempt of being the chosen one. It could happen to any of us, we just pray that our children get spare.

   He looked so handsome but the spirit of happiness that defined him had left him. I was only able to say good bye to his body, the temple that kept all his goodness and soul for 23 years. He looked at peace, pleased, like he knew how loved he was. I can't say that he is in a better place, because there is no better place for our children to be than close to us.

 When I looked at my friend and her husband I was impacted. They had the face of pain. It looked familiar, because I have seen it before.  I saw it  up close and it scared me. I didn't know what to do or what to say. Their pain was so big that engulfed me. Of course I am not saying that I was able to feel what they were feeling. For the first time since we became friends I had no clue what they were going through. I was puzzled and experience a great feeling of impotence. I wanted to run away, not from the situation but from the pain that I was afraid to experience.
 
 I looked a t my kids and I felt that they realized they were not invincible. I wanted them to continue to believe that they are. 


  I know that Alfy is at peace because he lived, because he loved and he was loved. He left a mark on all of us....a deep one. He will never be forgotten.

Rest In Peace Alfredo Alexis Trejo aka Alfredito.

Frustration

How can I feel so alone when I am surrounded by people?  



How can I feel so neglected if I am supposedly surrounded by people that take care of my needs?




How can I feel so unsupported, when others think they are providing great support?




How can I feel so unaccepted, when people say they love me the way I am?




How can I feel so angry when I am supposed to feel happy?




How can I feel so unloved when I hear I love you almost every day?




How can I go out and then wished I didn't?


     I remember better times, when my life was so easy. When did it get complicated? I don't like complications, unless they are meaningful ones. I do have to say that in the midst of all the frustration that I am experiencing I see what's good in my life. I have four wonderful children that balance me out every day. When I look into their eyes all my frustrations go away. They give my life such a meaningful purpose. When I am with them I feel like the most special person in the world....or may be the universe if I want to count the alien population.