I was recently honored with an invitation by Professor King to be part of a panel of experts to speak at U- Mass Lowell. The theme of the night was Culture Care. The big event was last night.
It was my first time speaking in front of such a big crowd. There were over 150 people in attendance. Also in attendance were my clinical, my research, and my doctorate advisors. It was the first time I spoke in front of my professors in my professional role. I was the expert, not the novice. They were going to be learning from me.
As we enjoy the events of the night, and before I spoke I went back in time to when I started nursing school. I had big dreams. I was a shy, kind of nerdy young woman who was terrified of public speaking. I remembered the moment in which I chose to be a psychiatric nurse. That decision came after I met a patient that changed my life. She was my assigned case in the psychiatric hospital in where I did my rotation. She never knew how much she had impacted my professional destiny. Her body was frail, but her message to me was as powerful as they come. I remembered that professor that forced me to have sleepless nights studying, and the one that recommended me to be a professor in the area of mental health. Memories of my master's program followed and I remembered one of my advisors, and I felt like I heard her voice saying: "You could create movement by being still". She did, she had such great impact in my life as well.
In grad school I was one of a kind -maybe a novelty- since they were no more Latinos enrolled. I had the pressure to perform. I had to prove that I could do it and I did.
As I was walking to the podium I felt like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon. I have evolved into a confident professional that could be called an expert.What a proud moment. I was able to see the look of approval in my professor's eyes as I spoke. I felt proud to represent Latinas, to represent Puertoricans, to represent my nursing school, to represent U-Mass, and more important to represent myself and what I am capable of accomplishing. I have grown quite much since that first nursing class. The most important thing is that I am humble about all this and never have forgotten that I am the product of a great family in which strong woman were the norm. I felt in love with nursing and that love is stronger than ever.
I will never forget that moment when I took the microphone and didn't need cue cards, or notes...I was standing on my own.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Lost in Papers
Did I forget I am a blogger? No way, my classes has kept me hostage. I have been a victim of modern slavery, and the worse part is that I am paying to be a slave.
I am looking around and my bed looks like a disaster zone. Maybe an atomic bomb exploded in it last night and I didn't notice. Am I that numb? Instead of fire and smoke there is a mountain of papers, books, pens, research reports, journal articles, markers, and other school supplies. There are also items that I can't recognized, and perhaps I should. My mind is so full that I am constantly pushing things out to accommodate new ones. My mind feels as disorganized as my bed. I am ready to see the end and is close, very close.
Despite all, I had a new experience. The only threesome I had in my life happened this semester when I slept with two text books. Exciting, isn't it?
As I am reaching the end of the semester there is a feeling of exhaustion, mentally and physically. I have noticed that the amount of knowledge isn't the only area of my life that has increased. I noticed that my upper and lower back hurts, probably because of the several extra pounds that I am carrying on my upper and my lower body. This is called collateral damage, because it's not supposed to be happening but seems to be unavoidable. Students, we are such an oppressed group.
Despite all the stressors of this semester, I am happy and proud of my accomplishments. I am one step closer to my doctorare degree...a gift that I am giving to myself and a legacy that I will leave my children. What is that legacy? ...never give up, don't be afraid of challenges, follow your dreams, never allow anyone to put obstacles on your path, don't be afraid to dream and deam big remembering that unless you take the journey dreams don't come true. Without action dreams are only a thought.
I am looking around and my bed looks like a disaster zone. Maybe an atomic bomb exploded in it last night and I didn't notice. Am I that numb? Instead of fire and smoke there is a mountain of papers, books, pens, research reports, journal articles, markers, and other school supplies. There are also items that I can't recognized, and perhaps I should. My mind is so full that I am constantly pushing things out to accommodate new ones. My mind feels as disorganized as my bed. I am ready to see the end and is close, very close.
Despite all, I had a new experience. The only threesome I had in my life happened this semester when I slept with two text books. Exciting, isn't it?
As I am reaching the end of the semester there is a feeling of exhaustion, mentally and physically. I have noticed that the amount of knowledge isn't the only area of my life that has increased. I noticed that my upper and lower back hurts, probably because of the several extra pounds that I am carrying on my upper and my lower body. This is called collateral damage, because it's not supposed to be happening but seems to be unavoidable. Students, we are such an oppressed group.
Despite all the stressors of this semester, I am happy and proud of my accomplishments. I am one step closer to my doctorare degree...a gift that I am giving to myself and a legacy that I will leave my children. What is that legacy? ...never give up, don't be afraid of challenges, follow your dreams, never allow anyone to put obstacles on your path, don't be afraid to dream and deam big remembering that unless you take the journey dreams don't come true. Without action dreams are only a thought.
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